We live in a world full of expectations! Expectations are good to have. Setting healthy expectations for yourself is what most people do for their lives. Most people set goals; goals are expectations. Expectations such as after high school, going to college; getting a great job; becoming a business owner; traveling around the world; being kind to other people; giving of your time to those less fortunate than ourselves; becoming a parent; getting married. Expectations are great to have and great to have for others. We should expect others to show us respect and kindness. Humanly we expect people to be good to each other and to be understanding of each other. It's inconceivable to think that other people don't consciously think of other people in a considerate way. We expect people to say please and thank you, or excuse or pardon me; can I help you?, do you need some help? Our parents taught us to be kind to others and expect that in return. Human nature is offended when these simple expectations are not met from others. It's normal to have expectations such as a certain salary when you are bringing expertise and experience; to purchase a home after working hard to saving for it; your children to have a better life than you; we set expectations, believing that setting goals and working towards completing those goals are everyday expectations. We all want those things for our lives. One thing that puzzles my mind is when people feel they are ENTITLED to something, as if they are owed something, just because. We live in a generation where children have little regard for what hard work means only what hard work can bring. It usually the hard work of parents and what it can bring to them. Children can be selfish and will demonstrate this behavior by their endless "wish list" they belt out to their parents. I've taught my children that my hard work doesn't necessarily bring them whatever they want. I provided for them what they needed. I also believed in the reward system. I rewarded my children for getting good grades in school. I wanted to set the rule that hard work pays off. As they were younger, I would get all the "catalog" requests, especially at Christmas time. If there had been corresponding behaviors that warranted the wish list, sure I tried my best to give them what they wanted. I can't understand how the parents now days are parenting their children, just giving them any and everything they want, with the children possessing bad behaviors, bad grades, bad attitudes. I just don't get this sense of entitlement that some of the young people have today or the parents that respond; as if they are so waiter/waitress being ordered around!!! I have no problems to providing you with something you are ENTITLED to have. It's another thing to supply that person with something when there is no investment on their part. Adults play into the roll of entitlement and it often shows up in their lives in many forms. You encounter "Entitled" adults on jobs, in marriages, in ministries, as friends. Often these individuals grew up in some sort of a "privileged" manner; everything done and handed to them. These individuals usually have no sense of real responsibility; without realizing that no one has to do anything for them. It's foreign to them. This type of person is clueless to that they have a part to play in whatever comes their way.
Here is a definition that may be needful to retain:
Entitlement: the belief that one is inherently deserving of privileges or special treatment.
As parents, we need to be careful about the message we are sending to our children with our behaviors and responses to our children's numerous requests.
The truth of the matter is this:
